And by Inferno, I mean the Dante kind. Thank goodness they cut the excess intro baggage, but I wish they would ditch the disco altogether. The show is not without its bright points, but an entire show based on the worst music ever devised by people who aren't the Spice Girls is just a terrible plan. I'm all for stretching the contestants, but this is stretching the definition of entertainment.
Lil is dressed for her disco funeral in a form-fitting shroud of black, and her dirge of choice is Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman." Good for her. She had fun. But I don't understand why she chose to sing nothing but "Whoo," "Come on," and "Yeah, yeah." Here's a strategy: instead of trying to have fun out there, why not make it your goal to . . . sing well? Just a suggestion. And Paula is unleashing inner goddesses. Yummy.
Addison's take: I think, Boooo. Wait . . . maybe I changed my mind to whoo! She sings pretty high.
Reality's take: Bye, Lil. I really wish you had gotten the hang of this show.
I've always hated Kris, but these past two weeks he's made me hate him for making me like him. Grr, I'll never forgive him for that. He turned Donna Summer's "She Works Hard for the Money," into a jazzy little chill-fest, and darn it all, I liked it. Grr. Believe it or not, I think he's got the chance to steal this competition. Screaming girls can text really fast and frequently.
Addison's take: Awesome. I liked it 'cuz there were three instruments.
Danny got his groove back a little bit with, "Do You Remember," which, according to Paula, gets performed all the time. I hate the song, and I'm glad Paula's dead wrong about its performance frequency, but Danny can sing. Not so much on the dancing. He's still really safe, but he needs to find his zone if he wants to outlast Kris. Danny's on cruise control, and that's gonna put him in danger when we get to the final four or five.
Addison's take: Zzzzzzz. From this point on, he was in bed. If he gets a chance to finish off the episode, I'll let y'all know.
UPDATE—Addison's take: Yay! He's singing about my birthday month.
I just love Allison. Some people don't like her. I just love her raspy, rocky, kickin'-it spirit. Her Catwoman-at-prom look was pretty fun, too. But I think people have a hard time with a girl rocking that hard at 16. And the hair. Some folks will always have problems with the hair. She sang, "Hot Stuff," in a way that bore no resemblance to Donna Summer, and for that alone I have to thank her.
UPDATE—Addison's take:Boo. She's singing too loud. Good . . . I mean, bad.
Reality's take: If there's a bottom four, Allison risks being in it, simply because Adam, Danny, and Kris are the most likely three to avoid it.
This guy is really just too good. Again, Adam took us far away from the land of the mirrored ball (soaring on the wings of his raging hair). Again, he completely reinvented a song, this time "If I Can't Have You." Obviously he's got range, and stage presence, and all of that. But the thing that really impressed me tonight was how well he conveyed the emotion of the song. Most of the other contestants are just singing their songs, but Adam is communicating for reals. (And I loved Seacrest's "pool of Abdul" remark. Wish I had thought of that.)
UPDATE—Addison's take: Echh. Messy hairdo. She (Paula) thinks yay. It was good, because he sang so soft.
On Idol, you really benefit from following someone great, and Matt just might be "Stayin' Alive" on the strength of his predecessor. While the judges reviewed his typically soulful, spirited performance unnecessarily harshly, I think viewers (and voters) are likely to forget everyone who sang before Adam. I thought Matt made the perfect song choice—singing phrases like "stayin' alive," and "I'm goin' nowhere": good; singing things like "I'm goin' home," "goodbye," and "nobody loves me": bad. Way to prove yourself saveworthy, Matt.
UPDATE—Addison's take: I liked his dancing and his singing. I like the hat. What's a strike?
Reality's take: He's definitely still gonna be in the bottom three or four, but . . . I think we'll be hearing from him again.
Contrary to Matt's positive slant, Anoop sang something about lights dimming down low, drawing mostly favorable reviews from the judges. But I agreed completely with Simon. Anoop flat-out missed his opening note. He bombed on his closing note. The notes in between were okay, and the way the stage lighting matched his pink sweater impeccably was bordering on freaky genius. But Anoop was awful. What radio from the pit of Hades is Kara listening to? Oh, that was abysmal (as was Seacrest's reference to Anoop's eyebrows; do those things really need more attention drawn to them?).
UPDATE—Addison's take: His clothes are kind of boring, like Uncle Knicknocks from Imagination Movers. Anoop? Anoop? Anoop again? Good. Simon thinks everyone is a bad singer.
Reality's take: Anoop, you are in serious danger.