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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Idol Eyes

Why does Ryan do the extra-long "I'm about to tell you who got booted, but I just want to soak in the anticipation" pause before he tells us what "This" is? We know. It's American Idol. That's kinda why we're watching. And he always points out that it's live. First of all, it's never live when I watch. Second, duh. It's always live.  And Scott has poofy Ziggy Stardust hair.  Let's move on to "people have to like the song enough to download it" night.

Anoop Desai
Anoop tells us he's singing Usher's "Caught Up," returning to the form of weeks gone by when every performance made us question why he was on the show. You remember, the Bad Arse days. Anoop, Anoop, Anoop. You know when Michael asked the infamous musical question, "Who's bad?" Nobody in the history of the world has ever answered that question by saying, "Anoop." Holy crap that was terrible. Kara accused him of just living up to a dare from a bunch of frat guys, and the camera cut immediately to a bunch of frat guys denying it . . . perfect. I don't know how Paula and Randy could say the vocals were good.

I just don't get it. He had two performances that were good and that the judges liked. And then he decides to perform the style of song that sucked his entire identity so hard he became the human hickey. That and he's wearing one of Michael's old "I'm a lieutenant in a big gay army" shoulder chains. Sorry. That took too long. People are really gonna have to suck for Anoop to survive.

Megan Corkrey
Megan Joy borrowed "Turn Your Lights Down Low" from Lauryn Hill and Bob Marley, and she borrowed the style of Wyclef Jean. Here's what's going on with Megan, who didn't even do her little dance: she's singing to four judges. I don't think she intends to, but that's what's happening. What Megan needs to do, if America realizes she did in fact suck way less than Anoop did, is sing to just one person. Her confidence and her heart are just not showing up. What the judges need to do is put a lid on it. When they're disappointed, they're taking forEVer to tell us about it. Megan is in danger, but I don't see her waving goodbye.

Danny Gokey
"What Hurts the Most," by Rascal Flatts earned Danny a glowing review from Simon in one of those rare moments when a performance actually makes Simon approach an apology for the previous week's criticism. He was good. I wouldn't rave the way the judges did, especially not Kara's "I'm so enjoying this Sweet Tart" love fest, but . . . hey. He's clearly one of the best.

Allison Iraheta
I don't know how the song will go, but I kind of like the fact Allison hunted down Sanjaya and is wearing him as a headdress. As for her version of "Don't Speak," it didn't leave me wowed out of my mind. She actually did play the guitar in a way that you could actually, oh, what's the word . . . hear? But the song was not exactly right. Given Allison's track record of not earning the votes her vocals earn, she might have something to worry about. But . . . I think she's safeish. And I just have to say, Paula right now reminds me of George W. Bush reading the names of foreign dignitaries off a teleprompter. I love Allison.

Scott Macintyre
Dude . . . I've already talked about the hair, but I actually thought that was his weakest performance. I didn't like the Hasselhoffian look. I thought his voice was shaky. His piano skills are solid, but they just don't stand out for me on this show. And somehow, the judges once again totally disagree with me. And I'm cool with that. Still, I think Scotty has an outside shot of leaving this week.

Matt Giraud
In the style of Anoop, Matt returned to his top-36 style of hitting up the college rock scene with the Fray's, "You Found Me," which allowed him to totally lose me. It's the classic, classic AI pitfall, singing a song that you love instead of a song that loves you. And last week, it seemed like America didn't love on Matt all too much. But at this point, I think America starts to vote their conscience instead of their actual impressions of the song, so I think Matt's gonna get through. Maybe.

Lil Rounds
Well, Lil has been touted as vocally awesome, and this is her chance to prove it. She can definitely deliver some powerful notes. But I think you should break out the Power Diva song only when you're on the upswing. It's the gesture of a lion standing over it's wounded prey, not the defense mechanism of a cornered gazelle. And as Power Diva songs go, Celine Dion's "I Surrender" is a crappy one. Lil's another one who is picking and performing songs for the judges instead of what actually suits her. Lil could go. But the judges would save her.

Adam Lambert
He played that funky music a la Wild Cherry, and all I have to say is, I have to, have to, HAVE TO hear a duet featuring Adam and Norman Gentile. He's really good. And yet really hilarious. And Paula's coming out of her prom dress.

Kris Allen
I'm sorry, but does anybody else feel like the reverb is on absolute overdrive when this dude sings? He was fine. He really could use a butt kicking. And everybody loves him, yay! But let me tell you, any male caught owning one of this guy's future albums loses his man card immediately.

Bottom three: Anoop, Megan, Matt.


  1. Ah, you are so on as usual! This was actually the first night I wasn't that impressed with Danny and I finally liked Kris. I pick Matt, Megan, & Anoop in the bottom with Anoop going home. Scott- well, no idea what planet he and the judges
    are from.


  2. I agree with most of it! You are good Adam!! I, however, loved Danny tonight.. But I love that song. I completely agree with you about Scott. I want to love his singing, I just don't. And the poor guy has no idea how bad they are making his hair look. Anoop and Megan need to go, very soon.

  3. I appreciate this review, cause for once, I wasn't able to watch last night cause after all, we were having birthday cake for hubby's birthday (a little more important) and I don't have tivo or didn't tape it. We are still in the dark ages of t.v. It did help me try to figure out who I will put in the bottom 3. I think it will be Scott, Megan & Anoop to go home.

  4. Steph: My guess is that Scott may have done better in rehearsals than his final performance . . . or they're all from Neptune.

    Dori: Heather agrees with you completely on Danny. She already loved the song, and I think she kinda forgot she was watching Idol while he was singing. She loved it.

    Mimi:) No reason you can't compromise; you should have bought him a DVR for his birthday! :) But don't worry. I'm sure they'll show every relevant moment tonight on the results show.

  5. I've been raggin' on Scott since the beginning of the show and have NEVER liked his singing. I think he did better this week than he's ever done (his face as well as his singing was so much more relaxed) but he's so far off from actually being the AI that it doesn't matter any way.

    I think Megan was worse than Anoop but they are both in the bottom - I think Megan should go first but again, it doesn't matter, because neither one will be an AI.

    Not sure why you don't like Kris - I thought he did really good this week and last week and I don't think he's anything like Archuleta.

    Ha! Loved your funny comment about Allison's hair - I actually laughed out loud.

    Matt is still my main pick but he screwed up this week. I hope it doesn't backfire.


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