I did just a bit of Internet prowling to get to the bottom of the FFH&H issue, and I found that I am no longer as troubled by the ingredients of the make-believe coffee potion as I am the reasoning behind it. It's not really half & half. It's a substitute for half & half. Same consistency. Same taste. Different stuff.
Okay, fine, whatever. But why call it FFH&H if it's no halves are involved? Why not just call it creamer?
I'm sure the answer is that you can supposedly cook with FFH&H, and nobody would ever attempt to use fat free creamer in a recipe. It's just kinda weird, because nobody really calls half & half by it's real name. We call it cream. But H&H is anywhere from 10 to 18% fat. Cream cream can have as much as 30% fat. So the fact that H&H would want to swing the other way when it's so often mistaken for its chubbier counterpart is completely mystifying. Decide who you want to be, H&H. Break away from your ana complex and embrace your true identity.
And suddenly I'm tempted to put Prince and the NPG in my playlist, but it ain't happening.