10. Drool. Seriously, he has two saliva glands: the Pacific and the Atlantic.
9. Roll over. All of a sudden he's rotating on his axis.
8. Poop beyond the confines of his diaper.
7. Bounce. In his bouncy seat, in his jumperoo . . . probably not if you drop him, although Addison's always ready to test that one.
6. Laugh. He's a ticklish one.
5. Splash in the tub. He actually starts doing it as soon as the bathwater starts running and he's in the next room.
4. Godzilla impression. It's killer. Grabs stuff, puts it in his mouth, makes indiscernable noises.
3. Burp. Earth-shaking resonance, sustained volume, good follow through.
2. Smile. Aw, man, he smiles on command.
1. Make me smile. Yeah, I had to add a cheesy heartfelt one to wrap it up. I was gonna go with "Increase my tax refund" as an emotionless copout, but, I'll stick with make me smile. He's the bomb.
Paddock vs. Petty: If You Had to Pick One - I’ll declare at the outset that what I’m about to propose is a false dichotomy. This world is not divided into Tom Pettys and Stephen Paddocks. But I’m goi...
2 months ago